“In case any of you are wondering, we most certainly do not employ toilet police.” She told us this with a smile that was also a challenge. “Anything you may have heard was simply a few overeager supervisors taking the law into their own hands. I can assure you it is not company policy. Okay then. Any other questions?”
Everyone remained silent. Our induction as call centre employees of Waggle!, supplier of ergonomically designed pet toys, was almost over. Why did they even need a call centre, I wanted to ask, but didn’t.
Finally, I raised my hand. “Um, what about the news that a 25th Waggle! employee has just committed suicide?”
She honed in on me with a look as cold a monitor lizard’s. “Where did you get those figures?” she asked. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not true.”
We all stood watching her.
“Three of them survived,” she said. “And their stay in hospital is being subsidised by Waggle! Which is very generous, I think, and shows generosity by our new owner, Randall X. DeLeon, to our staff. Especially since no proof has ever been established in a court of law that we were in any way responsible. Some of them had family problems. Two were clinically insane. And one man, I believe liked to dress as a panda bear. Wearing a nappy.” With that, she wrote something in her folder, and strode off.