“I’ve been with our Lord Jesus Christ for seven years, and I’ve never had a dull moment”
This made me look up. The grey-haired lady at the other end of the carriage had been droning for the last twenty minutes that God is love and we should all reapply ourselves to the Ten Commandments if we wanted to save our souls. Her robotic monotone never faltered; not when she introduced herself as an angel, not when she described heavy metal music and astrology as false idols, not even when the elderly couple snapped at her to shut up. That personal note stood out, precisely because it was delivered in the same washed-out tone.
She said it as she shuffled along the aisle, then disappeared down the stairs. We smiled at each other, acknowledging that she might have been crazy, but at least she was harmless. We’d got off lightly. That’s when her God squad partner appeared to take over the show.
He strode up like a showman and talked to us directly in a boisterous voice. He wanted to know if we were happy because we had jobs and shiny cars. Did we think spending time on the internet would lead us to heaven? He laughed that he could get tatttoos and piercings and become a hippy, but where would that get him?
“Sir, why don’t you be quiet,” said a blue-haired goth girl. “Each to their own, isn’t that how it should be?”
"No!” he said. “Would you tell a thunderstorm to be quiet? No! I am the thunderstorm of God!” He was no longer friendly with us. He shook his bible, flung a few more warnings at us, then joined his companion in another carriage.
“All this, for $2.50,” said the elderly man to his wife, and we laughed.